I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
