using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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