I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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