just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize