i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
