She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
