He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
