Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
