Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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