is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
