Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
