i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
