I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
