I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
