when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
