i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
