I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
