i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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