How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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