I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
