Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
