She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
