This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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