happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
