So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize
