Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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