in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
