You're a womanizer and a bitch.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
