did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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