planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize