She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
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