didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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