This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
