just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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