If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
