Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
