So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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