if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
