but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
