I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
