i wish starbucks made bloody marys
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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