We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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