how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Is Oprah even human
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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