What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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