I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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