Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
