Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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