He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
