She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
