So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Even my vagina gasped.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
