ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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