You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
