There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
