its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize