theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
