we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize