You made me cry and you don't even care
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
