i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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