I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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