sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Found the puke drawer
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize