I showed him my bush... on skype.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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